Image by Gerd Altmann
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man [ahem, woman] in his [her!]
time plays many parts.
— WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, As You Like It
If, as Shakespeare so aptly pointed out, all the world’s a stage and each of us are merely players, playing our parts until we fade away into oblivion, the question inevitably becomes “Who is choreographing your life?”
A choreographer is the person who composes the sequence of events or moves in a dance or a play, leading to a meaningful, cohesive, and purposeful performance. While it is sometimes appropriate to allow others to choreograph your life, it is all too easy to forget that the primary choreographer is you.
The Legacy of Regret
Let me tell you a story. I was close to both my grandmothers, who, by the standards of their day, were pretty perfect women. Although I assumed there were things about them that I didn’t have the full scoop on, I felt like I really knew them. But after they passed away, I learned I had been wrong.
I found out that these women were so much more than they shared with me, our family, or the rest of the world. And because they had kept parts of themselves hidden, their true essence had been lost forever, not only to themselves but to all of us who loved them.
I am not making this up. On her deathbed, my grandma looked up at my dad (who is hugely into genealogy) and said, “You know those stories about my father, and how mean he could be? Don’t ever worry that anger is in your lineage, because I was adopted.”
And then she died.
We never had the chance to learn anything more or to ask questions. We knew her, but we didn’t know her at all. Because she was afraid that others would not accept her if they found out, she had covered up a key piece of herself and our family’s history. Although we were grateful she finally revealed herself to us and allowed us to integrate this tidbit of information, it was kind of too late, because we never had the opportunity to see exactly who she was!
And then there was my maternal grandma. While refraining from any deathbed bombshells, she left us with just as many questions as grandma number one. Of course I knew she was smart. She had jumped ahead two years in school and had attended a private university during World War II, dropping out to get married after my grandfather came home.
She would write poems and stories that were so good that I’d ask whose they were because I was certain they were copied from some famous work, but they were always hers. Which was cool, but I never really gave it a second thought.
That is, until she died. Sure, I had seen her scrapbooks and heard her funny story about sunbathing in a cemetery with her sorority sisters and getting caught by the nuns, but her scrapbooks and stories were just the tip of the vast iceberg of who she was as a person and as a woman. Although before her death she had been honest in sharing her dissatisfaction with her own life, we couldn’t understand or appreciate the depth of that pain because we had never been allowed to see fully who she was.
After she passed away, we found journals and notebooks, where she drew incredible pictures, wrote breathtaking poems, and related stories that provided rich insight into her, her marriage, and the world. Not just into her as a wife, mom, or school secretary but as a woman, and the pain she experienced in covering her sparkle and light and being everything she thought she was supposed to be instead.
She kept much of her intellect and passions hidden, and as a result, her life was never that happy or that fulfilled.
Wearing masks, covering themselves with the requisite costumes of the day, and dancing choreography that was not their own robbed these two women of themselves and their capacity to experience authentic joy and fulfillment. But it also robbed us of the ability to know, or see, or grow through them and the stories of their lives.
Expressing Yourself Fully NOW
I don’t know about you, but when I die, I don’t want my family going through my things and feeling that sense of loss, that sense of If I had only known... about me. I want to express myself fully, to be seen and known, for everything that I am deep inside, giving myself the opportunity to live fully, joyously, and intimately connected to those I love. Now. Not after I die.
I can only imagine the legacy my two grandmas could have left, had they been brave enough to reveal themselves fully. To show who they were. To allow themselves to be expansive, seen, and accepted as they truly were.
What About You?
What is your legacy? When was the last time you were giddy with anticipation over something you were about to do? When you knew that what you wanted to do made little or no practical sense, but you knew you had to try or you’d regret it forever?
No matter how old you are, no matter what you look like or sound like, it’s never too late. In fact, the older you are, the more imperative it is to begin now! So, if there is anything in you that wants something more, you owe it to yourself to give it a try, to create your legacy...or you risk regretting it forever.
For me, it was dance. What could it be for you?
Playing Your Part As You Like It
It’s not the things we do in life that
we regret on our death bed; it is the things we do not.
— RANDY PAUSCH
Flip back up and reread Shakespeare’s “All the world’s a stage” intro to Act I. Can you see how all of us are merely players, playing our many parts over several ages?
Shakespeare was pretty insightful on that one, wasn’t he? No wonder we’re still studying his works! You are a player in the story of your life, and it is up to you to play each role exactly As You Like It. (Giggle, see what I did there?)
Find your inner burlesque star, connect with your heart, embrace every version of you that you have ever been, trust in your truth, and reveal your core essence for all the world to see. After all, you are the artistic director of your own life, and you have only one opportunity to write a script that suits you. You have one opportunity to be the star of your own life.
Act I is the past. It is over. Accept the lessons, integrate the stories, recognize it for what it was, and release what no longer serves you.
Act II is the present. It is here now. Reveal yourself in the ever-changing, ever-present moment. Stay awake, take center stage, and choose love. Find your fetish. Laugh out loud. Accept unconditionally. And when you do, you begin to write your future.
Act III is the future. As you re-choreograph your future and choose the path that determines what the rest of your life will be like, always remember to navigate the negative and trust in your truth.
The Curtain Call
The play is over. The curtain has come down, and the audience is on their feet cheering. It’s time for the curtain call, where all the actors come out onstage and receive adulation and admiration from the audience.
This was the play of your life. What story did you create? Were you the lead, the star of your own life? Did you act like it or not? How did you do? Are you satisfied with what you created?
What is your legacy? There’s no room for regret or for politely waiting in the wings, hoping someone will turn the spotlight on you. They won’t. Step into your own spotlight and take the leading role in your own best scenes.
This Is Your Life!
When life is not going as you’d like it to, you have the ability to begin again, to rewrite and re-choreograph your life exactly as you see fit. This is your life. Not your kids’. Not your partner’s. Not your parents’ or your friends’ or your employer’s. It’s yours.
Wear what you want to wear, spread glitter all around, laugh at the irony, poke fun at yourself, play with the audience, and remember the titillating power of the tease! But above all, strip down and proudly reveal all that you are!
All women deserve to be seen for who they are, not for what they do. All women deserve to feel the freedom and joy of standing in their Naked Self-Worth and knowing that who they are is more than enough. I believe that the five steps of FLAUNT! will get them there.
1. Find Your Fetish.
2. Laugh Out Loud.
3. Accept Unconditionally.
4. Navigate the Negative.
5. Trust Your Truth.
And don’t forget to FLAUNT!
Copyright ©2019 by Lora Cheadle. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission from the book, FLAUNT!.
Published by : New World Library. www.newworldlibrary.com
Article Source
FLAUNT!: Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self
by Lora Cheadle
Attractive woman, savvy career professional, devoted wife and mother, caring daughter — the list of roles women play is endless. We may have chosen and cherish these roles, but nevertheless, they may occasionally chafe. What lies behind these roles? FLAUNT! dives deep into how and why you got where you are and uses laughter, play, and storytelling to help you express your truest self with self-love, sass, and joy. Discover how to build rock-solid self-worth while finding freedom and fun. (Also available as a Kindle edition and as an Audiobook.)
For more info and/or to order this book, click here. Also available as a Kindle edition and as an Audiobook.
About the Author
Lora Cheadle is a former corporate attorney turned female-empowerment coach, speaker, radio personality, and the world’s first Life Choreographer. She is the creator of FLAUNT! and Find Your Sparkle coaching programs, workshops, and destination retreats and has performed burlesque widely as Chakra Tease. Find out more about her work at LoraCheadle.com
